Crying as I write this...

I just paid for this web hosting.  

I have been crying, as a matter of fact, I am crying as I write this.

I need to "turn on" this website and get the word out to the world, and again, I am afraid.  Afraid that the people I know, my clients, my friends will be frightened of this website and what I am revealing here.  

One of my exercise students came to see my one man show THE PEOPLE IN MY HIPS last Spring - came to class the next day, and then, I never saw her again.  Could it be she found a better exercise option or did my honesty, my terribly unattractive but truthful presentation of my past condition SCARE her away?

Who really knows?  

 

So let's not even go there.

 

Fear is what keeps us safe, but it is also what keeps us alone and trapped - limited.

Years ago, when I was "dealing" with The People in my Hips, I lived in fear each and every day.  Fear that I was going crazy, fear that my body would cramp up so bad that I would be unable to support myself, fear that my heart might actually cramp up and I would die, and fear that people would find out.  Find out that there was something "wrong" with me.

But there was a little part of me inside that wouldn't believe in my fear. It would "witness" my fear and then gently tell me:

"No, we are not going to believe in that.  Ken, you are going to cure yourself.  You are going to cure yourself."

The fear didn't go away.  I just chose not to believe in it.

It is time to choose again.

Posted on October 1, 2009 .