Insight #3 - Don't Believe your Feelings!

When I was in the midst of my "EMOTIONAL BURP," where crazy feelings were simply manifesting/channeling out from my body, I had the distinct advantage of "KNOWING" that these old emotions were simply coming from my body, and from my past.  Therefore, for the most part, I was able to simply watch them, notice them, witness them. It didn't change the bizarre manifestations in my body, but it did keep the me inside centered and aware.

Since the "Emotional Burp" of The People in my Hips, I have come to believe that most strong emotions are manifestations coming out of our bodies, and/or out of our past triggered by events in the present moment.

Now when a present day event triggers a strong emotion, I usually stop and say to myself:

"Wow, what is this?  What emotional event from my past is similar to this emotion?"

 

Just recently, my girlfriend and I, became the proud parents of a beautiful half-Maltese/half-Yorkie Puppy named Roma.

In "Mutt Breed" language, you would call her a MORKIE.

She is the doll of our life, just adorable, cute, loving and she has totally changed our experience of our life with her exuberance and affection.

I recently noticed that when I would walk with her outside on the streets of NYC, I would get incredibly nervous, incredibly neurotic and fearful that something would happen to her.  I envisioned cars hitting her, her getting loose from her leash and hurting herself and on and on.

Now there are thousands of dogs being walked everyday in New York City that never get hurt, so obviously this had nothing to do with the present moment so I asked the question:

"What is this?  What emotional event from my past is similar to this emotion?"

I didn't get it right away, but a day later while in the bathtub, it hit me.

When I was about 8, I was late for the school bus. As I was running down to the bus, I saw my cat crossing the road, just as the bus was turning the corner.  I screamed.  No one could hear me... and I watched as my cat was struck by my school bus.  I ran to my cat crying.  

She was dead.  

...And then the bus driver told me to hurry up and get on the bus.

I screamed, " Get out of here! You killed her!  Leave! Get the hell out of here!"  

As the bus, drove away, I sat by the curb weeping with my dead cat in my arms.

 

So obviously this emotional event was triggered, pulled from my past when walking Roma down the traffic - filled streets of Manhattan. Noticing this connection, realizing that my emotion was not based in reality but in the past, I have actually been able to enjoy walking Roma.  Granted, I'm still cautious, because I love Little Miss Roma, but I am not NEUROTIC or fearful.  I am present.  

Present.  Here and now.  Loving our beautiful little puppy.

Life couldn't be more perfect.

Posted on October 27, 2009 .