The video journal was the way I grounded myself. The way I kept going. Knowing that someday (RIGHT NOW) after I healed myself, I would share my experience. Here is the second half of a video Diary right after I saw Karen Judge and was in the process of figuring out the "Broken Leg by Dad" scenario and "The Priest" scenario. My girlfriend and I had just broken up and I was alone up in my cabin in the woods of Northern Westchester trying to figure it all out.
There is a line in this video where I say: “I am either going insane or becoming sane.” I was becoming sane, grounded, in the moment, really present, but in order to do that I had to experience all the mysteries and madness from my hidden past.
It is over 6 years since this video journal. I am older, wiser, (maybe not as cute,) but I have grown up, really grown up by letting go of so so so much anguish from my childhood that I somehow locked in my unconscious and in my body.
This man struggling is a hero. We all are heroes when we refuse to give up, refuse to step into despair.
Ken from six years ago, I am so proud of you.