Insight # 7 - Looking at fear

Even if you are frightened, you can stare fear in the face, for a moment, and then look away. And each time you look into fear's eyes, each time you stand up, each time you show up as who you really are, making a commitment to embrace/look at your fear just for a moment, your fear will shrink.  Slowly dripping/melting it's way down the drain.

Now don't HUG fear, like I did when The People in my Hips first manifested.  My fear was too big to hug and it ate me up, traumatized my nervous system, causing my muscles to cramp up and my body to shake relentlessly.  I believed the myth of psychology "If you remember/embrace the OLD STUFF, you will heal."  It didn't work that way with me.  It made me sick, or rather my body sick. My nervous system was overloaded with trauma energy from a wild childhood of forgotten abuse.  I almost lost everything, my health, my mind, my life.

But that little part of me deep inside, call it that little voice, intuition, my true self, or call it my soul, but that little part of me deep inside whispered to me "Keep going! You will be Ok. Yes, this is crazy, but you can overcome...you can persevere, you can find a way back, out of the fear, out of the past, to the present moment, now, here, alive, complete, ...whole."  

Thank God, I listened.

 

FEAR.

I looked it in the face, then looked away, everyday.  And one day,  I solved it, or it solve itself through me or my soul led me to the proper place and time to see understand experience and...  TRANSFORM.

 

Now I am simply MORE ME.

I am so proud of my process of exorcising The People in my Hips from my mind/body.  It wasn't easy, as you have and will see on the pages of this blog. 

But now I am MORE ME.  And I am actually grateful I took the journey for our darkest days bring our future light.

And it is bright now.

No matter what my outside circumstances might be, I am 90% of the time joyous, thankful and simply in awe of this grand life we live....thanks to FEAR.

 

Fear.  

Make friends with it.  Softly, gently, safely.  

 

Make friends.

Posted on January 22, 2010 .