The Tale #39 - The Circle of Fear

It was 3 a.m.  It had been a long day.  A cold February day in 2004.  My class and work load was nuts but I was happy for the business, but all day long underneath my upbeat persona, I was nervous.  I could feel something in my right hip.  It wasn't Baby Ken, it was... how the heck can I explain this...

It was Evil.

I could feel a tingle in my quad during my Bodyshaping class. Then as I was driving I could feel a burning in my hip flexor which radiated into my lower back.  And with that came this weird sense of almost nauseousness, as if I was about to woof my cookies but I somehow couldn't.

I awoke at 3 a.m. Maybe 15 seconds and then

WHAM! AHHHH! FUCK! 

My right hip flexor almost popped into a spasm.  I folded into a fetal position, my body starting to shake.

OH DAMN OH DAMN OH DAMN!!!

I crawled out of bed and into the living room.  The fire from earlier in the night was now just an ember.

My hip was now on fire.

I crawled to my Yoga trunk and I pulled out a Yoga strap, two orange Yoga blocks and my Yoga mat.  I rolled out my mat, rolled onto it, and took the Yoga strap and hooked it over my right foot.  I extended my right leg towards the ceiling, and the madness began...  

I started to feel something, something really bad.  I slowly started to circle my leg using the strap to release tension in my hips.  As I circled my head started to shake right and left as if I was saying no, and my left leg started to hop up and down.

Something was happening to me...then... back then... when I was so helpless.  

Damn!  What is it?  What the hell is it?

I pulled my right leg into my chest, my ribcage was bouncing up and down.  My breath labored.

WHAT IS THiS?

I extended my leg once more up towards the ceiling, and circled it using the strap.

I suddenly felt scared as if someone was coming to get me. Someone in the woods, I was in the woods, and someone - the dark man - was hunting me, like I was his prey, his toy, his sick delight.  In my mind's eye in my hip's eye in my real eyes I could see something, something I wasn't supposed to see but if I looked now now now now I might just see it.

Oh don't look KEN, don't look!  

I was cold. It was dark and as my leg circled in an attempt to release my hip, I simply watched.  I had been here before and now I was back but this time it was BIG, a mack daddy of FEAR.

Oh no, not now, that was a long time ago... Please not now.

My head started to jerk side to side, and tears streamed from my eyes.  I couldn't make it out. What was it?  It was dark and in the woods, the woods down behind the houses across the street that we would hike through on the way to the Mill Pond.  Why was the Dark Man after me? Who was he? And what happened there? Why have I hidden it in my hips?

I circled and i cried and I felt the FEAR, the Fear of the Boogeyman in the closet and the FEAR that the Giant Ants would soon come to town and eat everyone.   And then, there was the fear of being murdered.

The Dark Man was holding me down. He was going to hurt me, I couldn't get away, oh please help me someone God Satan Superman Batman Green Lantern Mom Dad Bro Mike the Police the fucking Police help me help me he is going to hurt me.

I circle my leg, I shake and I cry.

 

The veil is too dark.  

I can't see.  

 

Will I ever know?

Ken WolfComment