I had a hard time with therapy. It is not that Dr. Freud wasn’t good. No, he was an extraordinary consultant and member of my People in the Hips team. I just couldn’t understand how TALKING could free me from The People in my Hips. How could words - the expression of- and the emotions that I would be feeling in session get this crazy energy out of my hips? It didn’t seem possible.
Our first sessions were interesting. Dr Freud was really good at creating rapport, and I certainly felt more or less at ease with him, but part of me was holding back. I could feel that I wasn’t really talking deep, if that makes any sense. I would joke, babble about my cramping, but I really wasn’t zooming in on the issue.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD?
So in our sessions, there was little shaking, sometimes some cramping but no bouncing up and down, and no Baby Ken. I was avoiding it all. It wasn’t safe. It just wasn’t safe. Was it because Dr. Freud was a man? I don’t know. But I didn’t feel safe. So somehow I held it all in.
Somedays I would actually leave his office and then begin to shake. Bizarre!
So, in therapy I didn’t really talk deep. I just touched the surface. What the heck was I doing? I was paying for this, and I HAD TO GET THE PEOPLE OUT OF MY HIPS!
And then I had an idea. What if I could film my therapy sessions? If I could film them, I would feel safe for they would be documented, and Baby Ken loved performing for the camera - he would do it three or four times a week when I filmed myself doing my nightly Yoga practice. This could be an opening, and in some crazy way, it would be fun.
So I asked Dr. Freud if I could bring my video camera into session. He was weird about it at first but I told him I would just be filming myself, so he conceded.
I was thrilled. Who gets to film real live therapy sessions? This is amazing!
And then I thought:
“And someday, when I am cured I will show one of these clips on OPRAH!”
Here is a short segment from one of our therapy sessions that is really quite interesting.